The Secret to Staying at Paradero: Need Nothing.
Beautiful hotel, stunning landscapes—but if you actually need anything, good luck.
Room service? Expect an hour-long wait for the wrong order, followed by another wait for the right one (spoiler: still wrong). We ordered a pot of coffee every morning, and every morning it was mysteriously rerouted to another room. Maybe someone out there had the best-caffeinated trip of their life.
Communication? Everything goes through WhatsApp, where responses are either crickets or a heartfelt “I’ll look into that” (spoiler: they won’t). They do have a phone line, but it’s apparently decorative.
The Art Walk tour was a true adventure—we arranged for a late pickup, confirmed it, then spent hours texting into the void while slowly accepting our fate as permanent town residents. Just as we were scouting local inns, they finally responded.
The food? Tasty, but half the menu was MIA, and ordering was like a game of Will They Return? (answer: usually no). Our group turned it into a running joke.
Despite all this, the place is gorgeous. So if you don’t need coffee, your actual food, hand towels in the restrooms, or reliable transportation—this might be the perfect place for you!
